In reading through the Gospel of John I was hit with an amazing contrast in ch. 18. Jesus has just finished the “Upper Room Discourse” with his disciples and travels to the garden of Gesthemane where he is betrayed by Judas. This is where John’s passion narrative starts, and you could say that the reality of the cross suddenly looms large. Jesus knows what Judas and co. are coming to do and he faces it head on.

I think we may, as it were, picture these men coming to Jesus with a cross. Jesus sees it, and before they can even declare their intent, he asks, “Whom do you seek?” (v.4). He doesn’t ask this because he doesn’t know; he knows that they have come for him (18:4, 6:64, 71; 13:11, 21). His question is somewhat of a rhetorical way of initiating this devilish episode. This is also brought out by the fact that he “stepped forward” (v.4). He didn’t wait for them to encircle him and his disciples and force his arrest. They do not even have a chance to use the force they apparently thought would be necessary (a “band of soldiers” [v. 3]). They don’t take Jesus, he offers himself. Before he even gets to Golgotha Jesus is sovereignly initiating the dark road to the cross.

Furthermore, the men say that they have come for “Jesus of Nazareth” (v. 5). Jesus simply responds, “I am he” (literally “I Am”). This declaration is repeated two more times, once by John quoting Jesus and once more by Jesus himself. This threefold “I Am” is certainly not accidental. As the cross comes for him Jesus does not shrink back but boldly steps out and says, “I am the man, it is I whom you have come for!”

The contrast comes in the account of Peter’s denial. Three times Peter is asked if he is a follower of Jesus, and three times he denies it. Two times John records the explicit statement, “I am not.” In this context Peter, too, is confronted with the reality of the cross. As he sees his beloved rabbi arrested he faces a predicament: to accept the apparent downfall of Jesus and remain faithful to his messiah, or to reject Jesus and any shameful association with him.

A cross will come to all true followers of Christ. In the famous words of Bonhoeffer, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” We must follow in the steps of our master. But will we follow the example of Jesus or the example of Peter? Will we say, “I am the man you are after” when faced with shameful conditions, the prospect of unfulfillable desires, hostile work conditions, and any of the myriad forms our crosses take? Or will we say, “I am not,” I am not your man, you have not come for me, you are mistaken.

Jesus has shown us the path to take, and he has given us the strength by which we can boldly step out and face our captors. For they ultimately are not in service to their own plans but to One who is using them for our good so that we can say with Paul, “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world” (Gal 6:14).

One Response to “To Be or Not To Be Revisited”

1. Gerard Weldele says:

   May 17, 2011 at 5:36 pm

   Aaron, its December 22 and you are speaking of His death on a cross! Have you forgotten all about Christmas?? Or perhaps you are not satisfied with Christmas without the immediate context of His sacrifice?